I spent the first half of my life believing in my own talent and abilities rather than in God. I was a self-made man with decades of deep expertise in engineering, and nothing seemed too difficult for me. I had held many senior management positions in both Singapore’s government-linked organizations and multinational companies. Soon after, my ambition to soar higher inspired a dream to build my own business from the ground up. I was determined to be my own boss and own a world-class company that I could be proud of.
Losing It All
In 1999, I finally took the leap. Together with my friends, I co-founded a company specializing in healthcare and telecommunications engineering. I was excited about my newfound dream, but little did I know that this was all part of God’s plan for me to meet with him.
Within the coming years, I saw my dream crumble and my partnerships fail. Differences among the partners began to arise, with each one harboring a different vision for the company. The tension caused the venture to halt, and after a few years, our project was declared a failure. With that failure came a great financial loss and, worse, a shattered sense of identity. Was I not the man who excelled at work? I was good with people, adept at business, and experienced in engineering. What had gone wrong this time? What would other people think of me—the once self-made man who could accomplish everything? I kept all my worries in my heart and never shared them with anyone, not even my wife and daughter.
2002 was the darkest year of my life. My career was in the depths, and I lost all confidence in myself. I had reached my limit. Burned out and depleted, I packed my bags and brought my wife and daughter to Irvine, California, to visit my sister. Directionless and aimless, I needed a change of environment and a new perspective on life.
Meeting God at My Worst
I was not a Christian then, but I had been invited to church by my Singaporean friends before. My sister in Irvine was a Christian who regularly attended New Life Christian Center in Orange County, and she graciously invited me to Sunday services every week in the hope that I would know the Lord. I went out of politeness, thinking that meeting some new friends could bring a change of scenery and mood.
Little did I know that once I stepped into the church, God was going to knock on my heart and I would soon meet him. That Sunday, the pastor of the church, Pastor Andrew Chen, shared a sermon from Isaiah 40:31: “…but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary; they will walk and not be faint.”
That verse hit me like a ton of bricks. Only the Christian God could give me strength. I’ve always thought myself to be as capable as an eagle, but this verse taught me that even the strength of eagles comes from the Lord. I did not have strength in myself, and my strength had never been truly mine. If I ever needed to stand again and find my footing in this world, if I ever needed the strength to go on again in my career and provide for my family, then only God could give me that. I had no strength in myself to do it, except through the Lord. When I lost all my strength, God gave me his strength to go on.
With this, I accepted the Lord and asked him to be the Lord of my life. I also made him my provider, rather than relying on my own strength. I was then baptized in New Life Christian Church in Irvine, California, and soon after, I had a newfound strength to continue on. I no longer dwelt in my own plight but courageously confronted all my fears with the strength of the Lord.
Rebuilding My Life with the Lord
With my remaining savings of US$8,000, I re-entered the engineering sector and built my business again from scratch. I was not afraid of being the sole breadwinner in my family (my wife was a homemaker, and my daughter was still in elementary school), because I knew the Lord would provide if I followed him all the way. It was a humble, difficult beginning. Finding clients was difficult, searching for good employees was hard, getting the trust of suppliers was tough, and my financial supply was not yet stable.
Even while I was busy building things from the ground up, I started to build my inner life from scratch. I faithfully sought the Lord every day, read my Bible, and prayed to Him every morning, surrendering all my anxieties to him before I started the day. I also did my best to spread the Gospel to my employees. Despite the winds and waves on the outside, I had a profound peace from the Lord that he would take care of what I couldn’t.
Of course, we are not promised a smooth life, but rather God’s presence. Even as I drew near to the Lord and prayed fervently every day, there were still trials and difficulties. There was a time when I lost a major project at the final hour. That project was one that could have changed the fortunes of my company and provided for my employees and family well into the future. The deal was eventually lost to our competitor.
In the past, before I knew the Lord, I would have grumbled and complained, consumed by bitterness and resentment. However, the many months of being close to the Lord gave me a quiet peace in my heart and a knowledge that God is in control. I always reminded myself, “If God closed this door, he is likely shielding me from a risk I can’t see. What God eventually gives will always be the best.”
My faith in the Lord grew stronger, and my outlook on life changed. Soon enough, the Lord showed up for me. My company began to stabilize, and things grew at a steady momentum. Eventually, we received projects worth millions of dollars. I never stopped giving glory to the Lord, not only for saving my company and career, but for saving my soul.
Years later, God brought me an unexpected opportunity: A publicly listed Malaysian company approached me about a collaboration to build a multinational company spanning many countries in Southeast Asia. I was not just thankful that the Lord provided me with financial opportunities, but that he was using my talents and giving me the opportunity to spread the Gospel to more employees across the world. As I helmed this multinational company, I let God be my leader, and the company attained an annual turnover of tens of millions of US dollars. I never forgot to seek the Lord daily, spread the Gospel to my business partners and employees, and make sure that the business was built on Biblical principles of honesty and wisdom.
Giving Back to the Lord
When I hit 60, I retired and handed the reins to a capable team. With a heart grateful to the Lord, I decided to give back by volunteering at a UK–based Christian charity and missions organization. I spent many years working with refugees from the Middle East and spreading the Gospel to them. It was there, among those who had lost everything, that I could truly feel that it is more blessed to give than to receive.
Today, at 71, I look back on the darkest period of my life and thank the Lord that he shook me out of self-reliance to remember that I have a Creator who is my true provider. I am the man who excelled at work because the Lord gave me talents. I was good with people, adept at business, and experienced in engineering, not because of my own ability, but because of God’s generosity in providing abilities and opportunities.
People now look at me as a testimony of God’s faithfulness. He has changed a proud man who relied on his own hands into a man who relies entirely on the Lord, not just for providence, but also for the peace and joy in his soul. I am the created eagle of the Lord to whom God gave strong wings. And the best part is not that I can soar, but that I can soar with the Lord. I now know that I am never alone, and that I can face all difficulties with the Lord by my side.
The Lord is my Shepherd, and with him, I have all I need.
