If you’ve had experience living in China or doing business there, then you have had the opportunity of eating with Chinese friends and colleagues, either in formal or informal settings. You have come face to face with a table loaded with more food than is humanly possible to eat and a never-ending flow of alcohol (or Coke if you are a teatotaler). But more importantly, you have had great conversations and seen the value of a shared meal in bringing people together.
The second essential element of Chinese culture that Huo Shui writes about in “Living Wisely in China” is the importance of eating and drinking, particularly as it relates to forging and establishing relationships.
If you’ve been there, you will probably find yourself nodding in agreement. If you’re still in the preparation stage, then read up and prepare yourself for the art of eating and drinking in China.
“Have you eaten yet?” used to be the most common greeting in China. This greeting has now faded from use. Eating, however, still enjoys unshakable status in Chinese culture.
No other people of the world are more serious about eating, more focused on eating or more capable of getting the best out of eating. Over 2000 years ago Confucius said: “Never settle on an imperfect meal.” China gave birth to world famous cuisines including Sichuan, Cantonese, Shandong, and others. China also has McDonalds, KFC and pizza.
Wherever you go in China, the number of restaurant signs—even in poor backwoods areas will impress you. Likewise, Chinese restaurants are found in distant places.
Chinese love eating. Why? Eating in China is not just a simple personal activity; rather, it fits together the unrelated pieces of life. Eating is a cultural and social activity.
Many events in life require a large get-together meal that is in accord with tradition, fosters the accomplishment of other activities and allows people to express their emotions. These events include Spring Festival celebrations, family or class reunions, weddings, funerals, admission to the Communist Party, promotions to leadership, asking for help, thanking others for help, opening a business, settling in a new home, farewells, conflict resolutions, celebrating successes—and the list goes on. Anything can be an excuse to go out for dinner.
Reports say that several hundred billion Chinese yuan are spent on banquets in China each year. Restaurants have become a performing stage for people eager to achieve their ends. They display intimate feelings, cope with bosses, negotiate prices and resolve conflicts.
Obviously, food is not the real issue for either the host or the guest. Refusing to “perform” on this stage means that many things one may want to see happen will not be accomplished. Not understanding the significance of eating in Chinese culture means you will miss a valuable shortcut to getting complicated things done in China.
Eating is also a means for friends to express friendship and gratitude. If you would like to expand your network of relationships rapidly, invite your friends to the neighborhood eateries for simple meals. Over time you will acquire a long list of people interacting with you. If you do not take initiatives or accept invitations, you may be misunderstood and thought difficult to relate to as a person.
Remember, the most appropriate occasion to exchange information, improve communication, resolve conflicts and affirm friendships is always at the dinner table.
In other words, eating and drinking in China isn’t primarily about the food; it’s about friendship.
Gan bei! (cheers!)
Image credit: Banana Leaf Restaurant, by llee_wu, via Flickr
